1/2 of 1/2

Well, for the dame who asks her dentist to please not x-ray her teeth, there was a giant 'oh my god' moment today.  I had 26/ TWENTY-SIX/6 and 20 x-rays taken of my body this morning: hands, knees, shoulders and various areas of my back.  So many views, so much radiation.

After being in chronic pain for nearly two years (and non-continuous pain for many additional years), I was finally referred to Dr Jerry Tenenbaum, a rheumatologist.  Less than 15 minutes into our visit he said "Well, you have fibromyalgia"  He added that I likely had osteoarthritis as well.  Since I am on theothersideofseventy, the arthritis part is probably to be expected.

I phoned a good friend of mine last evening and she shared some of her fibromyalgia journey with me.  I had one aha moment after another.
 -My purse is always too heavy, although it weighs nearly nothing
 -I can't wear my seat belt over my shoulder, bur rather tuck it under my breast
 (which isn't wearing a bra because it hurts my ribs)
 -my brain is foggy- my temper is short- my digestion is shot
 -I don't sleep (nothing new) and when I do, I'm still fatigued
 -Tylenol 3 doesn't help
And the big one--I feel embarrassed by the fact that I'm always in pain and shifting position and trying to get comfortable while other people are way sicker with life-threatening diseases and serious injuries. Get this?  I'm embarrassed to be in pain.  Margo said she felt the same way.  Her former GP, in response to her 'complaints' about unceasing pain and chemical allergies, told her to see a counsellor before she came back.

Her specialist gave her this advice: think about what you want to do today and then cut it in half.  And then, cut it in half again.  If having 26 x-rays was a challenge, this may be a bigger one yet.

in the early morning garden

these purple poppies give me so much pleasure

 angel wings

                 petals, collecting water from the early sprinkler

whew!

....finally....on Thursday I had cataract surgery on my left eye.  A huge relief to have this behind me.  The attending nurse was great, sensing my anxiety, she upped the intravenous sedation.  Following that, I had my first afternoon nap in about 50 years!

Since I can't get the necessary corrective lens for about 3 weeks, I bought a pair of inexpensive readers so I keep switching back and forth between my 'real glasses' and them!

I see the surgeon again on Friday to confirm all is well.

I've been clearing out a large armoire so that it can be moved to Seaview, and today I uncovered several pairs of old prescription glasses of mine (with tiny pale frames) and innumerable readers of Brian's (some barely dented and scratched!)

We are so fortunate to have the doctors and technology to help us see better!

bambi

Early this morning I was walking, enjoying the dappled light and stillness of the chip trail at the Henderson Rec. Centre.  One single golfer was practicing his tee shots, his face half-hidden by a Tilly hat pulled low over his eyes.

As I was completing my first lap, there was a small noise, and I came upon a deer, mouth jammed with tender foliage. Cursing under my breath - these are the critters I fence my garden against.

As I hesitated for a moment longer,  I heard another rustle.
 
A bambi. 





Even a cull-the-deer-mouth like me stood in awe for a brief moment.  (a brief moment) Then images of the protective netting around our non deer-resistent garden came to mind and I resumed my fast walking pace.

audrey & alice

 '

                             'blessed are we that can laugh at ourselves
                               for we shall never cease to be amused'
 
                           sculpture by The Wizard of Felt, June Cable

early in the morning

  Yesterday morning, at about 5 a.m., I went outside with my Lumix (Panasonic DMC-ZS30) and wandered through our gardens.  The air was clear and the stillness wrapped about me like a gossamer shawl. Dogs and neighbourhood children were quiet.  The ancient gingko, 'Autumn Gold',  presides over the front garden, sharing space with the Wayne Ngan sculpture and creeping white thyme (thymus paecox 'Albiflorus').

An off-shoot of tetrapanex 'Steroid Giant' has appeared right against our front path and I will need to dig it out before it upends the blocks. It is an exuberant plant,  popping up in unexpected places. However, it doesn't put out many side roots, making it very difficult to transplant. Because of this, it's a hard-to-find perennial, which suits me!

Apricot-coloured geums with a backdrop of nepeta

a

A weeping larch has been moved from a large planter into the garden this spring, where it has responded by doubling in size!

And, finally, two hostas dominate the shade garden: to the left, 'Marilyn Monroe' and, to the right, 'Strip-Tease.'

remember what is important

This afternoon, as I continued with my sorting and clearing out, I found an unmarked carton in our den armoire. Treasures!  Greeting cards I had made about 25 years ago with favourite quotations printed on vellum and then affixed to Strathmore blank cards.  They were enhanced by my own stamp imprints.  I sold them for about $3.00 each.

Way before Etsy.

Several months ago, a  friend sent me one that he had saved all these years. I was delighted and saddened too, as I believed I had none left of my own.

Now the question is...what do I do with them?  Put them back in the carton? Address and mail them away? (Anybody have $3.00 for a vintage card?)







And, best of all, in this box of discovery, I found a manifesto to myself. Again, this would have been from decades past.

Now, all I need to do is remember.