I guess when we're sick our energy goes towards healing and has less power to cover up our vulnerability.
I know that this was so just before my fibromyalgia was diagnosed: I had no barrier between the world and my heart. I did a lot of crying- some tears because I was so very exhausted, and some because innocent-meaning comments wounded me, for no other reason than my super sensitivity.
We have a book that Brian often refers to- The Life You Were Born to Live a guide to finding your life purpose by Dan Millman. Through using Millman's sequence of numerical counting in relation to the day you were born, a specific set of numbers is revealed. These 3 numbers 'shed light on our key issues and potential; they do not describe who we are.'
'I am a 21/3
the number on the right of the / being the most significant
3: expression and sensitivity
1: creativity and confidence
2: cooperation and balance
Briefly, what Millman says about 21/3s' life path, is that we are here to work through issues of creativity, emotional expression, balance, and cooperation in support of people or causes, applying our 'energy in positive, constructive ways to teach, uplift, and inspire.'
On the liability side, people with 3 as one of their numbers see and can express the negative side of things. In a chapter titled The Law of Choices, Millman writes 'The most basic choice we have in life is whether to expand or contract, whether to bring our creative and expressive energies out into the world in positive or negative ways. No matter what our circumstances, we have the power to choose our directions.'
Do you hear that.....we have a choice here!
Being a 'super-sensitive' 21/3 helps me see and embrace beauty in its many forms. It also compels me to express what I experience. I believe that this expressive energy has been the constant and essential component in my art-making through the years.
So too has it influenced my verbal self-expression. It is important for me to share my authentic feelings honestly and directly. This frequently gets me into trouble as this truth-telling hasn't yet been honed to have smoother edges.
Millman writes that '3s have a large emotional field. This extended emotional nervous system of energetic "feelers" reaches out 'into the environment, leaving them wide open and extremely vulnerable to others' emotions.'
I remember telling my friend David, who was then working as Support Coordinator for Aids Vancouver Island, 'in my next life I want to be born with no social conscience!' I didn't want to have such an awareness of the difficulties people face. I didn't want to see and feel so much pain. Well, that thought didn't last long- within the quarter hour I had reneged on my wish.
Not to feel intensly would be a life from hell. Not to feel deep compassion when confronted with pain and injustice would be a shallow existence, indeed.
Okay- this very long blog entry is winding down. As is generally the case, it has assumed a life of its own. You may never have guessed that these words grew from my anxiety around having the first public showing of my photographs.
Sensitive and creative, we 21/3s often present the outward appearance of confidence, while in fact we can be crushed by self-doubt and insecurity, not feeling up to the task.
So, here I am, wondering and worrying
Are my photographs good enough? Who do I think I'm fooling?! blah blah blah
'I can see being anxious and worried about a show. Yet why? The scenarios you might consider are no doubt endless and how can you know what will unfold? Be here now with your images, have faith in their beauty and the joy you had creating them, and let the wind have its way.'
So, here is an early-bird invitation
uncommon beauty: photographs
Sunday, May 1
2716 Thompson Avenue
in the studio in the back garden
some of these photographs will be in our show
'All great discoveries are made by those whose feelings run ahead of their thinking.'
and......... let the wind have it's way