Monday, 6 March 2017

and everyone eventually dies

As I am on the other side of seventy, and because my genes have not been passed to me by centenarians, I do think more often about how I might feel when my death is imminent.

I knew a woman who died recently and her dear friend said she had been at peace as she left this earth.  M had traveled, hiked and biked during her life.  She was loved by friends and, being in a healing profession, she touched a wide circle of people in a personal way.

M was spiritual. She was kind. Her only regret was that she hadn't found her soulmate.

In my December 20 blog entry, I wrote about the zig-zag road I have been following as I continue to move closer to a place of comfort and joy in my being.

When I approach my death, sometime in the future, I want to be able to say honestly that I have been a caring person with a generous heart and that I have stood up for what I believe is right.  Being a Libra with an Aries moon has influenced my manner of leaping into things with both feet, sometimes treading on toes in my haste.  And then my Libra reprimands me for the injured toes and hurt feelings I may have caused.  I hope people see that my intentions are for good, not for conflict.

It comforts me to know that I have enriched people's lives with my art and, more recently, with my writing.

I welcome mornings with joy, grateful that I'm still here in this healthy body in a wonderful Canadian city. Thankful for my dear husband, Brian, and for my loving family and friends, for my camera and books and my garden.

I have never held a civic office, either in my community or provincially.  I was encouraged to run for the school board when I lived in Vancouver, and responded rather quickly "No thank you." I loved teaching but quite honestly, even then, I preferred working in my garden to attending meetings and sitting on committees and talking about children.

My belief is that holding a position in government or in an organization involves a great deal of responsibility. It demands it, if you are conscientious.  With this responsibility must come the understanding that what you do needs to benefit a great segment of the population.  Leaning towards the hyperbole - it needs to benefit all.

An example of this is the need for stringent legislation relating to climate change as this impacts every living organism.

I try to live a conscious life, making choices based on my values and truth, while being aware of how my decisions may affect others.  I strive to be a citizen of the world, not pursing my lips in judgement, while at the same time being aware that I fall short on a great many occasions.

I believe that many American politicians, most noticeably those members controlling the U.S. House and Senate at this time, are letting their partisanship be totally who they are.  I see many of these people saying and doing things which compromise the values they may have grown up with, the values that they have likely schooled their children in, the values of their faith.  Do they see this, I wonder.

Is the fear of speaking out so great, the fear of losing government jobs with all their benefits so paramount, that party members choose not to deviate from questionable and even false assertions made by leaders of the party.

These observations are not limited to this particular political party or about this specific job, but rather a wondering of how people of great conformity and fear face the last days or even the final years of their lives.

Is there blindness to their particular self-serving
actions or is there remorse.  Are their grown children aware of the determined choices their parents have made and do the siblings' actions begin to mirror those of their parents. Or do the offspring stand apart later in life, carrying the burden of their parent's actions, much like the pain carried by the offspring of Nazi officers.

Perhaps it is so-called accomplishments not peace that some people believe is most important as they age. It may be all about being obedient and doing what's expected, believing perhaps that to toe the line is the easier choice.

When this path is taken, there is little chance of discovering new ways of seeing and being in this fascinating world.

Everyone chooses every moment in their lives.
                                             And everyone eventually dies.