Saturday, 4 April 2020

isolation

Covid-19. Three weeks into isolation.  Six feet between people, if,  in fact, you meet anyone on the street or during the restricted hours in stores deemed essential services.

I was at my local supermarket, Pepper's, this morning, 10 minutes before their 7 a.m.opening time for seniors and those who are vulnerable.  I had come to buy  hand sanitizer made in a cooperative venture between a local distillery and a company that makes herbal products. The bottles were right by the door so I was waved in with the warning "shhhh....don't tell anyone!"

Back home, I slipped a CD into my CD player and started folding my laundry. It was a Barbra Streisand CD from 1997 called Higher Ground, that I had purchased from a thrift store many years ago and that I had tucked away and never listened to.

As track 3, At The Same Time, played, I was amazed by the lyrics! "Think of all the hearts beating in the world at the same time" was the main refrain.

Barbra's words in the insert to the CD read:
"I adore the lyrics of this song, which reflects exactly what I think: knowing how fragile the planet is, how fragile souls are, and how desperately we need unity. Look how the world came together after Princess Diana's death.  We all saw how people need to be close, to love each other, to cry together, to feel together.  I wish we could live like that all the time, without having to wait for tragedy to strike."

Yes, knowing how fragile the planet is .... and how desperately we need unity.


Then and now and always.

And, in order to stay as healthy as we can be, and to help others do the same, we must move our physical selves away from one another.  We must have no less than six feet between us. And, we are beginning to cover our faces with protective masks.

Food Bank clients at St John the Divine, must wait outside for their dry food order and for bags of fresh food that are passed out to them.  The vulnerable unsheltered in our community get meals served to them outside of Our Place on Pandora Street and camp out in tents.

Yesterday, a friend gave me a donation of two $20 bills for the Food Bank.  Today, I was chastised for not immediately disinfecting the paper money and then washing my hands for the one- minute hand- washing protocol.

The world has changed drastically and so quickly.

We are in the midst of the phenomenon called physical or social distancing.  While this isn't as restricting as complete self-isolation, it seems just baby-steps away.

The word  "isolate" comes from the Latin word "insula", which means "island", and definitions of isolation include  "separation",  "segregation", and "not connected to other things."

Panama exemplifies these definitions with its new measure to combat the virus. Starting on Wednesday, only women will be able to leave their homes to shop on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The men's days for errands are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. The time allowance is limited to two hours.

Everyone must remain home on Sundays.



Solitude is a different thing all together.

Vocabulary.com says about "solitude":
 "'Solitude" is the state of being alone. You might crave solitude after spending the holidays with your big, loud family — you want nothing more than to get away from everyone for a little while...........The word solitude carries the sense that you're enjoying being alone by choice."

Solitude frees the mind from distractions and may enhance creativity.

Supporting this, Abigail Brenner M.D., in her article "The Importance of Being Alone", writes that "spiritually, being alone may bring you closer to your inner being, allowing you to more readily access the creative and intuitive aspects of yourself."





And, Rainer Maria Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, referring to solitude writes:
“But your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.”




Further explanations infer that solitude is a state of being alone without being lonely, whereas loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation.

Okay!! Enough!

The question for me is how I can ease my often painful sense of isolation to a place that more resembles solitude.

Earlier this week, a friend sent me a text to set up a 9 a.m. phone date for the following morning. She told me that she tries to do this every day.  I am definitely not a phone person....so what can I do to move closer to personal engagement?

I was introduced to someone on Facebook who posts a "prompt" on her page every day to engage her friends. She writes a word which might be a colour, a descriptive word like "rise" or, today's choice "wind", and people post their visual interpretations.  I look through my photographs on the computer and choose one to post.

At first I thought I might start something similar on my Facebook page to involve some of my on-line friends, and then I realized that playing on Franny's Facebook page was absolutely perfect!

I'm thinking that a story time "game" might be fun.  I will choose a few willing friends to play what we did as kids and even young adults, where one person started a story and stopped at a crucial place passing the story on to the next person who then added a bit and then passed it on again. An email
game?  Or might it work on Facebook as well?



Either way, it will be engaging.  A connection.  A stretch towards something and out of isolation.








Wednesday, 11 March 2020

saying goodbye

I am trying to bring some order to a few shelves in our library and to sort through papers and half-filled notebooks.

Of course, this becomes simply an excuse to look through piles of notes carefully tucked into file folders marked "save".

It is also a time to utter "OH, that's where it is", although the purpose of finding it is long forgotten.

For a short while, when vacationing in Sedona, my friend Nancy and I met to spend a couple of hours together writing.

We followed Natalie Goldberg's model from her 1986 book, Writing Down the Bones. We would choose a word or two as a prompt and then say"Go!", generally spending between 5 and 10  minutes on each exercise.




Keeping the pen moving.  No crossing out.

Then we read our short pieces to each other.

Today I found one of my notebooks from that time.

Warning!  This writing burst from 2001 is entirely unedited!


  * a photograph from 1998

"saying goodbye

The cycle of life - beginnings and endings hellos goodbyes
birth. youth, adulthood, old age and then death.

Holding on doesn't help, really
time is stronger than my fingers,
grasping, tugging.

The hours, the days and the years,
the calendar from 2000 replaced by 2001
to be replaced in a week, it seems, with 2002.

Here I am at a crossroads again
preparing to say goodbye to our life in Sedona.
12 years wintering here among the Red Rocks.

It is time.

It is time to say goodbye with grace, with love, with understanding.

Understanding that my body is old-
older that it was in 2000
My limbs more fragile, more complaining.

Understanding my life is less adaptable
to the coming back and forth into 2 different cities,
two very different existences.

Goodbye, not only to Sedona,
but to my more youthful self, my stronger body.

Saying goodbye to one thing is really an opportunity to welcome a new beginning.

If there is no void, there can be nothing new appearing to fill the space.

Goodbye and Welcome!"


                                        old in 2001?   old at 58?   no way!

Here I am in 2020, having traveled four times this past year to Havana where I gathered images for my 2019 solo photography show, Fragments.

Here I am in 2020, still working hard in the garden while continuing to do small acts of kindness in our community

                yes, "My limbs more fragile, more complaining." but still not old!












Saturday, 8 February 2020

she persisted

When Brian and I moved to Victoria 16 1/2 years ago we moved into a newly renovated home.  It was a relief, as I didn't want to be living in chaos as construction was going on.

The garden or rather, lack of garden, was the kind of challenge that excited me.  Digging out most of the  grass, relocating the path and working in yards and yards of sea soil into the new large bed was a start.


As a feature of this virgin bed, I planted a young ginkgo biloba "Autumn Gold".  I had been entranced by an entire boulevard planted with these trees as we drove through a city in California on our way to Sedona, Arizona many years ago.

I read that this trees is considered to be "living fossil and is the only surviving member of a group of ancient plants believed to have inhabited the earth up to 150 million years ago."
 http://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/PlantFinder/PlantFinderDetails.aspx?kempercode=c910



I was told this tree had survived because it had traditionally been planted in Buddhist gardens.

It is a slow-growing columnar tree and its bright golden autumn leaves are outstanding.

After spending hundreds of hours transforming our front property, and just tamping in the soil around  this specimen tree, you can imagine how I responded to a neighbour's comment, something like "Why are you planting this? It will get TOO BIG and ......blah blah"

Turning to this critic, my retort was: "I'll be dead!"  Period.

I clearly remember the sense of freedom that comment gave me!

The age thing hasn't always been so liberating.

A few years ago, I told our financial advisor that I didn't want our new investments' maturity to be 10 or more years from purchase.

When I reach beyond 80 years old, I'd rather have the cash in my pocket.





My kitchen floor always looks dirty these days.  Not from lack of washing, but rather because the surface "varnish" has worn away in this most travelled hub of our home. The floor needs refinishing.
I have the name of a company that did my friend's floors and the number has been by the phone for two weeks. Every time I think of phoning, I hesitate.

To have the work done means the fridge, the stove and the dishwasher need to be moved from the kitchen. Pulled out and then carefully moved back into place, without damaging the now perfect floor.

I'm going to wash it again later.

I've put the company's phone number away.  For now.

Maybe I can live with the smudgy look for this lifetime in this home.

And finally, chronology tiptoes in as I try to choose trees to separate our back garden from our neighbour's.  Since the death and removal of a huge cedar at our fence-line, the intimacy of our garden has been lost. I thought that three delicate and evergreen pittosporum tennufolium would be lovely screen there....until I discovered that they wouldn't even begin to afford even a little privacy for five years and counting!

Wrong choice.

As a kid, how many times did I say "NOW!  I want it NOW!"

I don't think this desire for right away/instantly means that I am reverting to my childhood, rather this is my new version of "living in the moment"!

                                    THIS MOMENT NOW!

As suggested by a friend and plant-person extraordinaire, I think I will purchase three large evergreen magnolias "Little Gem" and have the guys from Demitasse nursery plant them in the spring.

The downside is it's still winter!




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