a sense of wonder

I have been thinking a lot these days about wonder, or, more specifically, about a sense of childlike wonder; a state of openness and joy, a sense of curiosity and surprise. Perhaps even a state of amazement and awe.

Wondering too about maintaining this joyous wonder into our later years.  Noticing if this wonder-spark needs rekindling and exploring various ways to hold the match.

For the fun of it, I Googled 'childlike wonder' and was rewarded with 11,500,000 results in 0.53 seconds.

First, I looked at HappinessInternational.org whose promising lead line was 'Where Did Your Childlike Wonder Go? 7 Steps To Get It Back In An Hour.'  Urging you to sign up for the Happiness Toolkit, you would then 'be offered a chance to register for the (trade-marked) Happiness Planner Discovery Edition.'

Another site offers '14 Ways To Keep Childlike Wonder Alive In Adulthood'. Here Briana West advises us to 'Fascinate yourself with what you're fascinated about. Be fascinated that you can be fascinated.'

Not to be outdone in wonder-land, there is a listing for '33 Ways to Be Childlike Today- Tiny Buddha'.  Many of the suggestions are no more than actually doing some of the things you did as a child: building a Lego village, reading a children's book or running and skipping.

It equates doing childish things with childlike wonder.

I beg to disagree.


I lean, rather, towards a note from Albert Einstein: 'People like you and me never grow old', he wrote a friend later in life. 'We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.'

Yesterday early morning I went to Beacon Hill Park and stood before the lily pond. The patterns and innumerable shades of green were infinite.  The shadows rimmed some of the leaves in darkness, creating another layer of patterning.  Small water lilies were scattered like jewels.  I took over 100 photographs.

At 2 o'clock I  returned again with my camera. Once again I stood in awe of nature's magic.

No skipping rope, no intellectual gobbly gook, no workbooks.

Simply an open heart.   Joy in the moment.  Wonder without judgement.

Perhaps best described by Marc Chagall when he said  'I am a child who is getting on.'

please click on any photograph for a full-sized image

timing timing timing

No doubt you are familiar with the expression 'location location location', usually in relation to real estate.  I am discovering, that for me, it's usually about timing, rather than place.  About doing it now, rather than postponing for a myriad of reasons.

Not that I am actually recommending the quick decisions I made in purchasing my five homes....making offers to realtors the very same day I first viewed the properties.

 I found out later that the magical 30 acres on the Cowichan River that I had bought for myself and my 9 and 11 year old daughters in 1979, had been carefully researched and studied for the better part of a year by neighbours.  They had finally decided to purchase this Duncan property, when 'oops!',  I saw it one morning and owned it a few  days later.

When a friend saw a for sale sign being placed at a Thompson Avenue home one morning 13 years ago, she phoned me in Duncan to alert me. The property hadn't yet been listed. I called our realtor and Brian and I sped to Victoria to view the house.  As I approached the front stairs, I mumbled something about perhaps being able to make them less steep as we aged, and then, as we entered, I envisioned a particular piece of our pine furniture in the entrance hall!

At about 9 o'clock that evening,  we learned that our offer had been accepted.

As I reread this, I am seeing beyond this seemingly audacious behavior, and noticing, instead, how I moved with trust.  Trust in my judgement. Trust in my heart. And an understanding that the timing was perfect.

Five or six months ago I began tidying the cluttered areas in our studio that were mine.  First my paints. After packing up the still useable jars of paint, I gave away containers of Golden mediums-  many unopened, most I had never  tried.

Phyllis was thrilled and I had one less box to keep.   Perfect!

Several of my friends were aghast when I said I was finished painting.  My enthusiasm was over, my images stale.  It was time to move on.

Cartons of unsorted magazine images were the next target.  I looked through the source of my many collages page by page.  A relatively small number I deemed too precious to part with, some I gave to a friend who teaches art at the Pain Clinic, and many more filled the recycle bin.  And then, unable to dump the last 1/2 carton of wonderful collected scraps, I fashioned about 125 bookmarks from them.

 These, I either gave away or sold for $2. each, contributing over $125 to the Syrian Refugee Fund at Congregation Emanu-El.

Through this cleanse, I discovered lovely small collages I had created, deemed not-good-enough at the time.  Now, 10 years later, I delight in these small treasures.

The bookmark frenzy showed me very clearly that the painful arthritis in my right hand was a significant reason to move away from collage work.  It was time.

Four less boxes.

Paintings I no longer wanted were given away or trashed. Favourites were saved- for now.

The most difficult culling was in regards to my precious bits of rusted metal.

I was bonded to these old bolts, springs and unknowns more closely than to any of my other treasures.  I posted photographs of them on my Facebook page looking for fellow scrap horders, but finally Brian brought them to the Oak Bay dump and left them on the give-away shelf.

At the end of the day the remainders are tossed into their bins.

He also brought in my eight circular saw blades.

I gave ten of my old watches to a brilliant artist, Kathy Ross.  kathyross3d.com

More paper into the recycle bin: sketches from figure drawing classes in Duncan, early oil pastels, abstract pencil rubbings and old matt board frames, cut to fit long- ago collages.

From these drawers, I selected and cut all variety of paper to box up for our grandkids' Chanukah gift. Linden and Stella are both remarkable artists.  I gave paper to a friend who has shown amazing talent as she begins her artistic journey. And more paper is waiting.
                                                                                 

                                                   

     timing: collected in its skeleton state

Finally, the studio had lost its clutter.  (no comment here about how our basement fared in this process!)

Brian meticulously mended the pock-marked walls, and, after painting the storage shelves and scrubbing the floor, he transformed the studio into a magnificent small gallery!

The time had come for my first photography exhibit, joyously shared with Patrice Snopkowski.

                                 
                                                     

timing: the cottonwood seeds, before that evenings rain

   timing: two days later, Saanich
turned in their garden bed for the winter

   timing: beauty captured in the morning's perfect light
                         at the dykes in Steveston
          

               
timing timing timing

what's next?

'Are you happy about yesterday's show?'  my daughter texted me.

My answer - unedited-  was   'Yes, in most ways.  Seeing all my work, hung so elegantly, was great. Seeing the beauty that I had captured was also quite amazing. I also believe that the showing of ones work is an integral part of creation.

The disappointing part was the limited sales.*  While I do understand the challenge of hanging photographs among existing paintings...it doesn't encourage me to have another show. ...if we do continue printing, what will I do with the photographs?
  
I have sold hundreds of paintings and collages.  I created these because I love to create...not because I wanted to sell them, so it is likely that I will continue to take and print photographs... it's what I do. 

Now, how's that for a long answer. 

It's been a blast!'

What I didn't say was how much fun it has been working with Patrice almost every Saturday for months, choosing images and preparing them for printing.

Studying the resulting photographs and shifting between exuberance and disappointment.

 Using the line 'Let's wait until it's completely dry and then look at it again' to keep us positive.

Noticing how our printing skills have improved along with our selection process.


We have the studio gallery. We have the Epson SureColor SC-P800 printer.  We have ink and the wonderful MOAB Entrada Natural acid-free paper.

So, yes, I will be photographing and printing and possibly having another show.

* sales are continuing!

the life you were born to live

first, let me say that I have been in the grip of a nasty cold for a week, which has gone to my chest and made me rather cranky.  In addition to cranky, it's been a time for quiet introspection with feelings of edginess and anxiety thrown into the mix.


I guess when we're sick our energy goes towards healing and has less power to cover up our vulnerability.

I know that this was so just before my fibromyalgia was diagnosed: I had no barrier between the world and my heart.  I did a lot of crying- some tears because I was so very exhausted, and some  because innocent-meaning comments wounded me, for no other reason than my super sensitivity.



We have a book that Brian often refers to-   The Life You Were Born to Live  a guide to finding your life purpose by Dan Millman.  Through using Millman's  sequence of numerical counting in relation to the day you were born, a specific set of numbers is revealed.  These 3 numbers 'shed light on our key issues and potential; they do not describe who we are.'








'I am a 21/3 
 the number on the right of the / being the most significant
3: expression and sensitivity
1: creativity and confidence
2: cooperation and balance

Briefly, what Millman says about 21/3s' life path, is that we are here to work through issues of creativity, emotional expression, balance, and cooperation in support of people or causes, applying our 'energy in positive, constructive ways to teach, uplift, and inspire.'

On the liability side, people with 3 as one of their numbers see and can express the negative side of things.  In a chapter titled The Law of Choices, Millman writes 'The most basic choice we have in life is whether to expand or contract, whether to bring our creative and expressive energies out into the world in positive or negative ways.  No matter what our circumstances, we have the power to choose our directions.'

Do you hear that.....we have a choice here!

Being a 'super-sensitive' 21/3 helps me see and embrace beauty in its many forms.  It also compels me to express what I experience.  I believe that this expressive energy has been the constant and essential component in my art-making through the years.

So too has it influenced my verbal self-expression.  It is important for me to share my authentic feelings honestly and directly.  This frequently gets me into trouble as this truth-telling hasn't yet been honed to have smoother edges.

Millman writes that '3s have a large emotional field.  This extended emotional nervous system of energetic "feelers" reaches out 'into the environment, leaving them wide open and extremely vulnerable to others' emotions.'

 I remember telling my friend David, who was then working as Support Coordinator for Aids Vancouver Island,  'in my next life I want to be born with no social conscience!'   I didn't want to have such an awareness of the difficulties people face. I didn't want to see and feel so much pain.  Well, that thought didn't last long-  within the quarter hour I had reneged on my wish.

Not to feel intensly would be a life from hell.  Not to feel deep compassion when confronted with pain and injustice would be a shallow existence, indeed.

Okay- this very long blog entry is winding down. As is generally the case, it has assumed a life of its own.  You may never have guessed that these words grew from my anxiety around having the first public showing of my photographs.

Sensitive and creative, we 21/3s often present the outward appearance of confidence, while in fact we can be crushed by self-doubt and insecurity, not feeling up to the task.  

So, here I am, wondering and worrying



Are my photographs good enough?  Who do I think I'm fooling?!   blah blah blah

As I was creeping along this thin wire, my friend Laurie sent me this beautiful email.

'I can see being anxious and worried about a show. Yet why? The scenarios you might consider are no doubt endless and how can you know what will unfold? Be here now with your images, have faith in their beauty and the joy you had creating them, and let the wind have its way.'

So, here is an early-bird invitation

      Jackie Saunders-Ritchie
        Patrice Snopkowski

uncommon beauty: photographs

          Sunday,  May 1

     2716 Thompson Avenue
in the studio in the back garden

                       some of these photographs will be in our show

'All great discoveries are made by those whose feelings run ahead of their thinking.'
                                                                              C.H. Pankhurst                        

                   and......... let the wind have it's way

what's important

Brian and I have recently returned from Montreal where we celebrated my great-nephew's Bar Mitzvah.  Mark is the son of my youngest niece, Miriam, and her husband, Michael.

It was an enormous joy to share the pride and love.  The sense of family and belonging.

My sister's three daughters were there and I was aware of my own daughters' absence-  Sat-Sung unable to travel from Israel and for Hilary, the dates conflicting with a major dance performance of our granddaughter in Vancouver.

With the geographical diversity and various commitments of our family, it will take some planning to get us all together in one place.  However, since being in Montreal, I feel the necessity of a fuller connection.  I see the possibility of visiting with some of our family and not waiting for the Big Reunion.

It is important.

Although Brian thinks the following sections are rather trite, I've decided that my blog can be banal and conventional as well as serious and thoughtful.  

It's my page!

So, today, here is what's important to me-  (not in any ascending or descending order of importance)

~ good health ~  family ~  love ~  compassion ~  joy and kindness  ~
~ safety ~  shelter  ~   hope ~   honesty and trust
~ curiosity ~ wonder ~  passion ~  creativity
~ generosity ~  laughter and tears
~ companionship ~ peace
~ stillness and silence ~ sensitivity
~ listening and being listened to~  noticing small things ~ seeing the Big Picture ~ ~curiosity
~ silliness

Here is what's special too-

             morning dew on a spider's web ~  the smells of springtime ~

mist above the ocean's wave ~

birds nesting ~   smooth stones beneath fragile shells ~
hope following disappointment ~  respect from the heart

~moving from fear to understanding ~

                                   ~a cat's soft purr ~




~  looking through my camera's lens

the heart sculpture is at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts

rereading

For several months, I've been tossing quotes and ideas into a mailbox on my computer entitled 'BLOGfromtheothersideofseventy'.  The folder has grown, and today I began reading through the lines and words, seeing if they are still important to me.   Seeing if they have remained relevant. Noticing too if I  have absorbed some of the lessons contained in them.

From the folder:

     **Wabi-Sabi-  – "Much has been written on this Japanese concept, but in a sentence, one might be able to understand it as 'a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.' " Altalang.com

I think I'll give myself a 6 on this one.  That's averaging out the 8 on 'finding beauty within the imperfections' part, with the 4 on 'accepting peacefully...' if it relates to my personal cycle of decay, rather than the cycle of plant life..  While I am somewhat more accepting of my body's crankiness, I was not pleased today as I tried crouching to capture a photograph of a purple-hued beetle and landed on my bum on the wet
ground!

      **From the poet, Jane Kenyon (May 23, 1947–April 22, 1995)
"Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours."

I score higher on this one. Consciously reducing commitments to doing things I don't love, I am freeing myself to spend more time with my camera.  Wandering alone, I hear the silence and breathe in the hidden.

Also, with a more clear awareness, I am seeking those people who nurture me and who accept my style of being.  I'm less likely to count the number of 'likes'  my photographs garner on Facebook and more likely to  contemplate my process in capturing the images.

    **In a fascinating interview with Clayton Cubitt,  photographer, filmmaker and writer on thegreatdiscontent.com  Clayton concludes the interview with this line:

"Be here now, care for people, make beauty, leave it better than you found it. End of story."  

And finally, not from the folder, these words: 
       simplicity  movement  trust.   

I drew these Blessing Cards* this morning from an old Quebec butter bowl where all the blessings convene and rest.  With closed eyes, my fingers held on to these three small cards. These blessings fit perfectly with this new post that I began writing last evening. They fit perfectly too with the path I am trying to follow, with the world I wish to live in.  

I have a long way to go...however, it's a beginning....

                                                   * the blessing cards originate from Findhorn