witness

I'm trying to fill my day.

It's 3:10

and I ate lunch at 2 so it's too soon to eat again.

I could work in the garden 

with my big hat and a reapplying of sun screen.

But my garden isn't calling me, though I strain to hear.

I go outside anyway and water my trees.

The beautiful ginko, that  has always leaned back, seems to welcome the additional attention.

I'm lonely, with no one to tell about my day

and about the single white peony that is in bloom

 the one that we brought from our garden in Duncan.

                                    .....................

For a while I kept a small journal, writing about the books I had read.

Yesterday, I found a single entry from 2014, with a quote from the  book "Man" by the Vietnamese writer Kim Thuy.  (apologies for not having the appropriate accents) 

"I heard the echo of her silence, though, and the burden of everything that couldn't be heard. At night, when we used to share the same bed, the sound of Maman's tears sometimes escaped the corners of her closed eyes. I would hold my breath then, because with no witness, sorrow might exist only as a ghost."

You are my witness.

magic

 I've just come back from Tofino 

                      Five days walking on the beaches and surrounded by beauty.

I'm smiling and relaxed, 

               certainly not words to describe myself these last several  months.

I had booked the cottage at Crystal Cove a full year ago, not knowing if I would go at all, but keeping the possibility open.

This reservation became a gift to myself and to M, my wonderful friend.

I came home with a bucket of stones and about 1,000 photographs.

Smooth stones and my camera: is there anything more perfect?

Several weeks before our "voyage" I had written a note to myself, with the words

       Assertiveness   Vulnerability

       Uniqueness     Commitment

At the time I wasn't sure what they meant.

I didn't know if M even liked to wander and look at the beauty that surrounds us.

Would she even look closely at the stones?

And would she find it extremely odd that I photograph the designs the kelp and other sea vegetation make?

Photographs photographs photographs

She DID love stones and she may even have even taken more photographs than my 1,000!

I took a chance inviting her and left myself open and vulnerable. 

I am so glad I did.

The Uniqueness and Commitment part was being who I truly am.

              In technicolor!

Crazy about stones and equally crazy about photographing the world around me, particularly nature's bounty.

That was my commitment and I wholly embraced it. 

This morning, at 6:30, I walked to Willows Beach and stayed on the paved path to Cattle Point, not even considering a beach wander.

                                      For now, at least, I won't gather stones.

This morning I found a postcard that I had  made over 30 years ago.

On it I had pasted something I had found.

It belongs in this post.

"THERE ARE CLUES EVERYWHERE if you know where to look.  Magic hides sometimes, and you have to adjust your eyes, your hopes, your spirit. You have to find ways of meeting it halfway."

I've had difficulty downloading the text and photographs and I've decided to send the blog out, even with the strange layout!